From Neuroscience Today, April 1st 2012 :


Music and brainpower : on the subject of musicians having more grey matter than most others :


Professor Samuel Salmon from the University of Winnebago has the following to say regarding the human brain of a musician : The human brain is like a fish in many ways. It is encapsulated in liquid, as is a fish, and it has two large gills through which it can see. The results of complex scans and probes have revealed that the brain of a living musician has a slightly higher concentration of grey matter than a non-musician.

Further sub-divisions of the study found that for musicians who played Irish music, the scan tested positive not only for a brain, but also for a constantly increasing / decreasing ratio of grey / pink scales in the muso-cerebral cortex (MCC).

Professor Salmon said this was possibly attributable to the form of the music played by these musicians. He continued, "The music is of a subtle but repetitive nature, with lots of diddly bits in it, which stimulates at least one gill. It would appear that the brains xerolytic neurons in the MCC are stimulated to the extent that they effectively multiply, thus increasing what laypersons know as grey matter."

"However, because the playing of the music is normally accompanied by the consumption of alcohol, the freshly generated grey or pink MCC xerolytic neuron scales are quickly killed off, soon after the alcohol has entered the bloodstream." All of this research was independently verified by Dame Professor Selina Shark, also of the University faculty. One participant in the study remarked, "I never had a frontal lobotomy, but I did have a bottle in front of me at the time."

Professor Salmon's most exciting and controversial conclusion was published today in Vlocks Roster, and he says, "After all this research, it was discovered that the proportion of grey matter was in no way related to intelligence, personality or any other cerebral trait. On the contrary, participants in the study such as taxi drivers who were able to navigate their way through London blindfolded, and darts players who could perform lightning-fast mental arithmetic to tally the game scores of the three or more players, were found to be of the highest intelligence."








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HA HA - that was fun, Jim!  Thanks for the chuckles and I'll admit it took me a bit too long to catch on to what was going on!

It's funny in a way :) I made all that up a while back, and it was in response to an article where some professor clamed that musicians' brains were "cleverer" than non-musicians' brains. It just seemed such a ridiculous idea, so in reply, I posted what you see above :)

I always cringe when I read some of these "studies have shown" articles. You usually get a totally contradictory one published a few monthe later! 

Well done; you can turn your hand to writing humor/satire if fiddling starts to get old.

Thanks :) Well, as it's still 1st April over here in UK, I might just put forward my idea of just how much Irish trad has not influenced modern jazz :'t-got-a-clue.mp3


lol :)




HA!  Understatement of the year, Jim.  

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