We get three bins here in Texas for our waste/recycling.

One, dark brown color, is for organic waste, like vegetable waste, egg shells, left over rice pudding, chicken bones and the rest of that kind of stuff. The next one, blue color, is for empty cans, jam jars, plastic bags, empty milk boxes, or containers and so on. But no scrap or electrical items and definitely no used musical instrument strings. Too, the City checks to see if folks are complying and those that offend are fined! The last bin we get here, green color, is for grass cuttings, leaves and wood debris from bush and tree trimming. It needs to reported that in Texas, especially the south, bushes and trees grow like mad! They are insane growing things.

But I have a problem with one item that has to go, an old beaten up Banjo. It is so bad that the string when tightened bends the neck part towards the round part like an Indian hunting bow would when an arrow is loaded for a kill shot.

I am not proposing that Banjos be used as hunting weapons, but in this case I can see how somebody caught short might be tempted to try it out. Indeed the notion of Banjo and Arrow hunting seriously needs examining because of the benefit of both musical experimentation and the outdoor life. It is a valid academic pursuit for obtaining grant monies.

Still it can be seen that I do not want, nor, in this case, need, to go down that greased road into state funding and the like, which I am certain authorities such as Michael D Higgins and like minded individuals would all subscribe.

My problem is far more mundane, almost a corker for the avid humorist, or comedian short on ideas for a great laugh or two. That is, into which bin do I put my failing Banjo? Is it the organic bin? or the recycle bin, or the 'farm' bin. Right off I can see that the string has to be put into the organic bin, because it is a bit rusty and must be categorized as scrap. But the neck is wooden, and the hoop is some kind of alloy with wood on the inside. So where do I put that? It isn't scrap, wood on the inside, but it is alloy on the outside.

Like Bertrand Russell's paradoxical Barber, i.e 'he who shaves all those who don't shave themselves', I am in an ontological crisis deep enough to crack the fabric of our universe, and so open a gate to other dimensions from which may emerge far worse things than old rusty Banjos.

Still, I could just throw the whole thing into the 'farm' bin and pray that the driver does not check my waste! But that is tempting fate, besides the fine is far more than calling a scrap dealer to come get this fetid heirloom.

But I want to recycle it! I don't want to give it to some greasy smelly scrapper to murder it with a sledge hammer.

Anybody, as far as I can see is allowed on TC to offer suggestions as comments below.

Please, if you have any creative and dignified plans for the solution of my problem, post them below.

Thank you.

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Good news! On Tuesday last I found a Donation station which took in my senior wobbly Banjo as a possible rehab project.

Happy that it did not end up in 'Rag & Bone Scrapper' world, as smelly and disgusting a place you could not find this side of the hole of Calcutta!

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